dating: a gentleman’s guide
By taking a more sophisticated and mature stance on current dating strategies, we, as gentlemen, can introduce a sense of authenticity in a sector which is largely filled with mass-deception.
Now, more than ever, the world needs its renaissance men.
Gentlemen who impress with knowledge, wisdom, and ethic – as opposed to men-children who objectify women by treating them as score-cards to gain fictionalized points.
educate yourself on the unusual
Granted, this isn’t the most conventional advice, but it is true. We as humans have an involuntary obligation to share our stories, as without such stories there is nothing that differentiates us from those around us. By sharing a piece of yourself with someone else, you gain an opportunity to establish an emotional relationship beyond what you would achieve from traditional conversation.
Instead of trying to game the system by crafting a script or memorizing cheesy pick-up lines, spend time focusing on yourself. Do whatever it is you need to do to acquire knowledge. Read. Travel. Experience.
Share unconventional knowledge, and do your best to refrain from engaging in usual (and monotonous) conversation. That’s not to say that every single one of your exchanges must consist of the unusual, just that, when approaching someone, avoid starting a conversation about something as common as the weather. Especially in first-impression situations.
Research various niches that are already a part of your interests, and dive into them. What’s something interesting that many don’t know? Is it knowledge worth sharing? Can it be introduced naturally into a conversation? Ask yourself such questions to ensure if whether your interests align with the type of conversation you wish to have.
Topics such as hypnosis, magic, and neuro-linguistic programming are typically quite easy to integrate into day-to-day conversations, as they have the capacity for live demonstrations and mini-experiments. Just food for thought.
Confidence is the name of the game. We have all been in a situation where, as we begin to approach someone of the opposite gender, the kick of nervousness releases butterflies in our stomachs. Unfortunately, there is no easy way around that.
Now that we know that we can’t half-ass our way around this, let us all swallow the bitter pill of social-anxiety and work our way through it.
As weird as it may sound, the best advice we can give you is to get used to rejection. Repeatedly put yourself in positions of discomfort, where the consequences of such discomfort may lead to a form of contained-embarrassment.
You have to get used to the thought that you may make a fool of yourself. No matter how much you practice Machiavellianism, and convince yourself that you are an alpha-male, everyone must go through moments of rejection and embarrassment in their lives. So, embrace it.
To provide you with tangible ways of creating such discomfort, refer to the following:
- Force eye contact with random individuals in a public setting, and, here’s the crux, do not be the one to break eye contact. Trust us, it’s easier said than done. If anyone is personally offended by your staring, simply say the following ‘Sorry about that, you look remarkably like someone I know’
- Next time someone approaches you for a handshake, simply grab their wrists with your dominant hand and place their hand on their head. Weird, we know.
- Anytime you reach a pivotal point in deciding if you wish to proceed with an uncomfortable choice, make a decision within three seconds. Any longer and you will talk yourself out of it.
Of course, none of the above exercises are compulsory, nor are they too intensive. Nonetheless, give them a shot and see how weird it feels.
We are programmed to act and react according to the construct of our societal-norms, while we remain ignorant of the fact that, in truth, each and every one of us is unique.
Why not tamper with that programming? Why not give that algorithm a quick shuffle?
stay chivalrous, always.
The practice of chivalry, in this day and age, is reaching the point of extinction. That’s not to say that all acts of courtesy and gallantry are defunct. Nonetheless, the art of dating (yes dating is an art) has taken a side-step, and is now polluted by adolescent frat boys looking to secure a booty-call worth bragging about.
Due to the absence of such chivalrous practices, now is the ideal time for a gentleman like yourself to step in and take the reins. Extract aspects of gallantry, compassion, and respect, and integrate it within your personality.
Rather than focus on the tasks one could execute to follow the guidelines of a chivalrous gentleman, we would much rather speak to the mindset that accompanies it. A mindset of being ruthless, but equally compassionate. Someone that abstains from clouded emotional decisions, but is there for unrelenting emotional support. We know, it sounds paradoxical.
Back in the days of yore, knights would take off their cloaks and lay it over puddles to ensure their lady’s feet wouldn’t get dirty. You must do its equivalent in today’s world. Whether that means sacrificing the umbrella when it’s storming outside or even something as crucial as acting as a pillar for your lady to lay on.
There is no one act that represents the practice of chivalry, but rather a series of acts that transform into a mindset.
Well Gents! That concludes our deep-dive into the world of dating and relationships. To ensure that the information described above is one that you remember, refer to it frequently. Make sure to stay-tuned to our Gentleman 101 series for everything and more on living a lifestyle of chivalry. If you derived any entertainment or education from this piece, please share this post with others who you think may enjoy such content. Till next time gents, stay chivalrous!